Caulfield Empathies

Knowing God, pt.1 (The Study of God, p.15-16)

2011-06-29T15:29:00.003+02:00

Jim Packer, the author of this esteemed volume Knowing God, open chapter one with a quote from an early sermon from Charles Spurgeon, on the benefits and necessity of the study of God for a Christian.

Spurgeon notes four particular blessings from the immersion of one's self in the contemplation of God: it is improving to the mind, more than reflection on any other subject; it is humbling, in that our ponderance upon God reveals increasingly our smallness, and His greatness; it is expanding to the mind; and it is "eminently consolatory", in that in our darkest moment, God offers us a sure unshakeable hope, a "quietus for every grief".

I am questioning the fourth point a little, as whilst I know that this should be the case, and whilst I know that God's faithfulness and love is not dependent upon our fickle and swaying human emotion, it seems that there are times in some people's lives that God deprives them of a sense of His closeness for a long or short period. In those times, they seem not to find anything consolatory about immersion in the Word of God, but rather a depression that they are not emotionally connected with Him, and hence cannot feel the benefit from the contemplation of God that they once did.

Statement of Intent

2011-06-20T05:19:00.002+02:00

With my spare time, whilst I have not much to do, I shall make the most of it by intentionally (and with discipline, when needed):

1. Studying the Bible;

2. Exercising;

3. Writing.

Shoulders

2010-04-04T11:47:00.003+02:00

Sitting at my desk this morning, reading portions of the Bible and Desiring God and Jim Packer's Knowing God, I realise how little I pray.

I realise how much I try to be a good Christian by reading a lot and talking a lot and by increasing my knowledge of Christian things, of doctrine. I realise how easily the devil's lies take hold in my heart about what I know not who I know. How little desire I have to talk with the God I proclaim to love!

I realise exactly how much I need God to give me the grace to even have the desire to pray, to break through the apathy caused by comfort, boredom, distractions, anxiety of the future. My experience, and more importantly, the Bible's unchanging truth, tells me that God is the God of every area of life, that He is bigger than my worries, and turning to Him is the answer for everything.

How I need to learn this truth every day, and stop seeing it as a one-off which I have sussed.

Praise God for his glorious grace and patience!

Two Promises

2010-01-03T18:11:00.002+02:00

Here are two promises given by God to you and to me. I feel especially gifted with these two verses as I start 2010...

"I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you" (Psalm 32v8)

"And the Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do no fear, or be dismayed" (Deuteronomy 31v8)

and a guiding principle...

"The horse is made ready for the battle, but the victory belongs to the Lord" (Proverbs 21v31)

Silvers

2009-12-21T18:56:00.002+02:00

What... reflecting on '09

Feels like: Penultimation. Where the ultimate is the beginning of the new season. Like life.

Things done: Tithed a half to God. Got blessed with a gift. Learned much. Realisation but externalising.

Things to be yet: Stepping in, circled. No passivity, production. Exercise gifts. Live life intentionally.

Amen.

Calling

2009-12-07T12:30:00.000+02:00

"Base things of the world hath God chosen." — 1 Corinthians 1:28

Walk the streets by moonlight, if you dare, and you will see sinners then. Watch when the night is dark, and the wind is howling, and the picklock is grating in the door, and you will see sinners then. Go to yon jail, and walk through the wards, and mark the men with heavy over-hanging brows, men whom you would not like to meet at night, and there are sinners there. Go to the Reformatories, and note those who have betrayed a rampant juvenile depravity, and you will see sinners there. Go across the seas to the place where a man will gnaw a bone upon which is reeking human flesh, and there is a sinner there. Go where you will, you need not ransack earth to find sinners, for they are common enough; you may find them in every lane and street of every city, and town, and village, and hamlet. It is for such that Jesus died. If you will select me the grossest specimen of humanity, if he be but born of woman, I will have hope of him yet, because Jesus Christ is come to seek and to save sinners. Electing love has selected some of the worst to be made the best. Pebbles of the brook grace turns into jewels for the crown-royal. Worthless dross He transforms into pure gold. Redeeming love has set apart many of the worst of mankind to be the reward of the Saviour's passion. Effectual grace calls forth many of the vilest of the vile to sit at the table of mercy, and therefore let none despair.

Reader, by that love looking out of Jesus' tearful eyes, by that love streaming from those bleeding wounds, by that faithful love, that strong love, that pure, disinterested, and abiding love; by the heart and by the bowels of the Saviour's compassion, we conjure you turn not away as though it were nothing to you; but believe on Him and you shall be saved. Trust your soul with Him and He will bring you to His Father's right hand in glory everlasting.

Things I Learnt

2009-07-13T15:17:00.002+02:00

Not to believe God is restricted by my small theology.

Calm Down

2009-07-06T22:38:00.003+02:00

Here are some scriptures about being radically uncluttered:

"This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says: 'In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength" (Isaiah 30v15, NIV)

"You will not need to fight in this battle. Position yourselves, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord, who is with you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not fear or be dismayed; tomorrow go out against them, for the Lord is with you" (2 Chronicles 20v17, NKJV) Jesus has already won the battle.

"Stand in awe and sin not; commune with your own heart on your bed, and be still. Selah." (Psalm 4v4, KJV)

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody" (1 Thessalonians 4v11-12, NIV)

Peace.

Sad Beauty

2009-07-06T00:59:00.006+02:00

I was sitting on the train this evening between Manchester and Leamington, feeling sorry for myself with a swollen jaw and insuring myself holy points for the day to make up for missing the morning service by listening to a sermon on my iPod on 'awareness of sin'. The passage was about Jesus when he ate at Simon's house and Simon gave no water for Jesus' feet and no oil for his head, but the immoral woman washed Jesus with her tears and her perfume. The preacher showed how Simon was not aware of his sin, he was a Pharisee, a morally upright guy who was looked up to by society as a religious zealot. But the woman was known for who she was, which was probably a prostitute. She knew exactly how sinful she was, and was thankful in accordance. Jesus tells the parable of the two men, one who owed about £4,000 (in modern terms) and the other £40,000. Who loved the gracious debtor more?

This is not the point of why I am writing. Whilst listening to this sermon, I was looking out the window. I always notice how trains run through some of the most beautiful desolate British countryside. I have been blessed this weekend to see some beautiful sights with some beautiful people, and these days I find myself just gazing and thanking God that He is so gracious to bless sinners such as myself, knowing how I have thrown myself on idols and committed adultery with false gods, just like the immoral woman.

As well as this revelation of God's grace in natural beauty, I was struck by two films this weekend. God keeps bringing things to me in pairs. The first film was 'Revolutionary Road', and the second 'The Blindness', both recent films. I won't bore you with an amateur synopsis of either. Both films made me realise how the human race appreciates films with unhappy endings, and it is most often these films which win Oscars, or are treated as 'serious' films, whilst happy endings are seen as trivial and light entertainment. That's a massive generalisation of course. But I will hypothesise that films with unhappy endings ring a bell with people because life itself is bittersweet, and these films reflect that reality.

This led me to think about how you can sum up the whole world as Sad Beauty. The world that God has given us, and I do not now simply talk of sunsets, mountains, coral reefs and sunshine, but marriage, honest work, family, animals, artistic talents. This world is beautiful - we are made in God's image, he has blessed us with all these things. This is the Beauty. The Sadness is the sin which takes all of these things and corrupts them. It takes the mountains and turns them to avalanches which kill holidaymakers. It takes the ocean and turns it into tidal waves and fierce storms. It takes marriages and demeans them with extramarital sex. It takes artistic talents and turns them into abhorrent monstrosities and nightmare visions. It takes family and rips it apart. It devours everything eventually with death. This is the Sadness.

After thinking this, I thought that no, it is only a Sad Beauty for those who do not have the Hope. For those who have the certain knowledge of a home in heaven and a Saviour who has defeated the grave once and for all, it is a Beautiful Sadness, and that sadness is temporary and fleeting. It will end when our mortal bodies shut down, or when Jesus descends in perfect and awful judgment on the Final Day.

"this is the new, life-giving way that Christ has opened up for us through the sacred curtain, by means of his death for us" (10v20).

On Real Prayer and Obesity

2009-07-03T11:41:00.005+02:00

These past two days, I have been reading Spurgeon's Morning and Evening, which is a devotional book, where Spurgeon takes a verse and writes about 500 words on it, one for the morning, and a second to be read in the evening, two for each day of the year. I always find it encouraging, more so than any other devotional aid I have used. The passages for last night and this morning have particularly impressed upon me the dangers of apathy and a lukewarm faith. I would like to share my thoughts on these verses, and pray that the Word of God will have the supernatural changing effect on the listener that is necessary to live in the fulness of His plan.

July 2nd (evening) - "To You I call, O Lord my Rock. Do not turn a deaf ear to me! For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit". (Psalm 28v1)

It is useless to cry out for help to any other than God. Who can help us in our time of need other than the originator and author of our souls? Spurgeon speaks of 'mere formalists' who may be content with simply the act of prayer, and feel good about themselves for performing a religious ritual, and how different they are from the 'genuine suppliant', who is not content with God's silence, but must hear an answer. I wonder how often I truly strive in prayer to hear an answer from God, or whether too often I simply pray nonchalantly at a time that is convenient for me because I am doing nothing 'more important', and think 'well it would be nice if God answers, but I'm not expecting too much'. I keep getting the image of Elijah, who when he prayed for rain, sat down with his head between his knees (not the most comfortable position), and prayed seven times for God to send rain on Samaria. We see the persistent widow in Luke 18, who keeps persisting in approaching the judge until he gives her an answer. Jesus says "will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night?". We cannot be content with praying just to gain a self-comforting peace of mind. We should strive to hear from the God who will not ignore those whom He has chosen from eternity past!

July 3rd (morning) - "And the ugly and gaunt cows ate up the seven fine looking and fat cows" (Genesis 41v4)

Spurgeon shares his thoughts in this passage about times of famine and times of plenty in his personal relationship with God. He talks about the times of drought as of when he backslides, and does not seek fresh stores of heavenly grain. He talks about the times of plenty as when he is soaked in the scripture, and in line with the Holy Spirit. I find it encouraging that a man so greatly used by God freely admits that he too had times of self-inflicted spiritual dryness. It serves to show more of the magnitude of God's grace, that He would use such broken vessels as you and I for His purposes! We need to seek to be fat in spirit from the meadows of God's revelation, by His Spirit, by His Word, and by striving in prayer and listening.

I trust that God will listen to your earnest prayers and keep you sharp to guard against the danger of leanness.

Eyelashes are Important

2009-05-23T02:36:00.002+02:00

When did life not consist of
Sex, cigarettes, the next round of applause?
It's false and results in obvious flaws.

There's liberating freedom in the place you were meant for,
But not freedom that should entail a need to create more
Distance between you and the God who made you,
It's one thing to label and another to know.

So quit while you're ahead, look not to yourself,
But above and around and inside for the help
To live your life well with wisdom and scope
To bring salt and light and give others the Hope.

The Art

2009-05-21T15:07:00.005+02:00

"I will fulfil my vows to the Lord in the presence of all his people" - Psalm 116

These (two) verses from Psalm 116 struck me today, for various reasons. But that is not what I want to write about.

God is sovereign.

I can be a rather cynical person, and when it comes to the more amazing workings of the Holy Spirit, this cynicism tends to be somewhere in the background (or sometimes in the foreground). This is probably a mixture of my experiences and my previous teachings in a cessationalist church. God keeps gently nudging me out of my cynicism and further into liberating realisations that He is not confined to doctrine, to theology or some next man's four-walled interpretations. This is not to say that a small amount of cynicism is not healthy.

But to repeat, God is sovereign.

I mention this because the cynical portion of me reared his head on Sunday morning. We were asked to pray for God to show us a picture of something (an item of clothing, a face, an object, maybe all of these or none of these) related to a person whom He wanted us to talk to in the following week. I will admit to not putting much stock in such suggestions, not because I don't believe God can do it, but because I'm not used to seeing Him work in that way. This time I prayed, however, and got a very clear picture of a man's tshirt / jumper. As it was so clear, I immediately thought that I must have seen somebody in church wearing the top, but I looked around after praying and realised that the person I thought may have been wearing it was wearing a plain black cardigan.

Monday and Tuesday came and went (with some very welcome distractions including an impromptu trip to Chester, being interviewed on the street about the male pill, and two full English breakfasts).

After the second breakfast (I have two breakfasts every day) on Wednesday morning, I walked out of the salubrious Gemini's cafe, bid goodbye to Dave and wandered homeward, enjoying the sunshine and thinking about where I could hand my CV in. Then who walks past but a guy wearing the very tshirt I'd seen in my head on Sunday. No question. So I stood on the corner for a while, deciding that I couldn't conscientiously pray for opportunities to serve God and then ignore them when they arise. So I walked back down the Oxford Road and after about 7 minutes caught up with him. I proceeded to freak him out, but hopefully God will take hold of His life and not let him go.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. The Lord works out everything for his own ends" - Proverbs 16

Saturday 11th August: Living to Tell the Tale

2007-08-16T13:29:00.000+02:00

"From a very early age, I´ve had to interrupt my education to go to school" - G.B. Shaw

What books are worth reading? Only those which you can read, and when finished, say that your understanding has been added to? Probably, but this leaves a vast array of reasons for reading. Escapism itself adds to understanding, if it only provides a relapse from the everyday which reinvigorates one´s perspective on life. Then there are those books which are defined Classics, or fashionably cultish authors (Marquez, Guevara, Camus - those whom communists, hippies or poseurs will say they read). If for no other reason than to be familiar with a noted artist´s work, these are worth reading, if not for the subtexts of philosophy, hedonism, cigarettes, alternative viewpoints, etc...

But what use is it for me to read Vonnegut and feign enjoyment? If it was to pass an exam or to impress a girl, maybe it would be worth the effort. But an education in itself?

The Gloaming

2007-08-02T11:23:00.000+02:00

“It should be common in our churches to see people weeping in worship, overwhelmed at the sheer mercy of God. It should be common to hear people singing at the tops of their voices, passionately expressing the love that God has lavished upon us. It should be common to see people dancing like lunatics, freely and with abandon, responding to God’s salvation. It should be common to see people rapt in silence, lost in wonder, completely transfixed at the transcendence of our God. We have an amazing God, and our worship should be real, honest, authentic, engaged, expressive, and wholehearted; we should be holding nothing back.”

- Tim Hughes

Bus Drivers are Scum

2007-07-21T00:48:00.000+02:00

All men are sex-crazed.

All black people like hip-hop.

All Muslims are terrorists.

Anyone who likes Warhammer is a geek.

All women like chocolate.

All French people are rude and eat frogs.

All stereotypes are wrong.

The Dope Cabala

2007-07-17T20:55:00.000+02:00

There is an important difference between the words 'loser' and 'outlaw'. One is passive and the other is active, and the main reasons the (Hell's) Angels are such good copy is that they are acting out the day-dream of millions of losers who don't wear any defiant insignia and who don't know how to be outlaws. The streets of every city are thronged with men who would pay all the money they could get their hands on to be transformed - even for a day - into hairy, hard-fisted brutes who walk over cops, extort free drinks from terrified bartenders and then thunder out of town on big motorcycles after raping the banker's daughter. Even people who think the Angels should all be put to sleep find it easy to identify with them. They command a fascination, however reluctant...

The Doc

Easy Until

2007-07-09T13:18:00.000+02:00

You should stick things out. If you start a new job, or make some new friends, make the effort, even if you have birthing pains to start with. You feel worse if you give up on something straight away, which is easy if you're quite a negative personality type like me.

www.43things.com

Celebrity Culture

2007-07-09T00:37:00.000+02:00

I'm quite against the assimilation of various quotes for a piece of writing, and think that good writers should use quotes sparingly and probably as less than 7% of their finished work. But often you find that other people have worded things in a much more empathic way than you could. This is surely one of the largest reasons why poetry and prose are so popular - as a mirror for the soul, which can search out places that are hard to reach by one's self. Anyway, here's a selection of quotes which I have taken from and hope you can...

"If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."

- Vincent Van Gogh

“Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.”

- Hunter S. Thompson

Identity

2007-06-21T17:53:00.001+02:00

You are your phone.

You are your friends.

You are your make-up.

You are your clothes.

Waning Gibbous

2007-05-03T11:23:00.000+02:00

"Deprived of meaningful work, men and women lose their reason for existence: they go stark, raving mad"

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Dj Southpaw

2007-04-20T20:31:00.000+02:00

Private Radio

2007-02-12T00:55:00.000+02:00

Right, so here's the dl...

Owing to a growing disdain for networking websites, the internet and modern technology in general, Caulfield Empathies is undergoing a lunch break. Fortunately for the reader, the proprietor of CE realises that the ethic of blogging is more journalistic in approach than cyber-"social" (if you follow me), and is not trashing the idea all together.

Happy surfing

-scriptor

Black Cat Blues

2007-01-13T17:57:00.000+02:00

Caffeine is a central nervous system stimulant, having the effect of temporarily warding off drowsiness and restoring alertness. Beverages containing caffeine, such as coffee, tea, soft drinks and energy drinks enjoy great popularity: caffeine is the world's most widely consumed psychoactive substance. In North America, 90% of adults consume caffeine daily.

Humans have consumed caffeine since the Stone Age. Early peoples found that chewing the seeds, bark, or leaves of certain plants had the effects of easing fatigue, stimulating awareness, and elevating mood. Only much later was it found that the effect of caffeine was increased by steeping such plants in hot water. Many cultures have legends that attribute the discovery of such plants to people living many thousands of years ago. The early history of coffee is obscure, but a popular myth traces its discovery to Ethiopia, where Coffea arabica originates. According to this myth, a goatherder named Kaldi observed goats that became elated and sleepless at night after browsing on coffee shrubs and, upon trying the berries that the goats had been eating, experienced the same vitality.

Caffeine is an ergogenic: increasing the capacity for mental or physical labor. A study conducted in 1979 showed a 7% increase in distance cycled over a period of two hours in subjects who consumed caffeine compared to control tests. Other studies attained much more dramatic results; one particular study of trained runners showed a 44% increase in "race-pace" endurance, as well as a 51% increase in cycling endurance, after a dosage of 9 milligrams of caffeine per kilogram of body weight. The extensive boost shown in the runners is not an isolated case; additional studies have reported similar effects.

Caffeine is a drug that in large amounts, especially over an extended period of time, can lead to a condition termed "caffeinism." Caffeinism usually combines physical addiction with a wide range of unpleasant physical and mental conditions including nervousness, irritability, anxiety, tremulousness, muscle twitching (hyperreflexia), insomnia, and heart palpitations. (Under a rigid definition of addiction, meaning a process of escalating use, "caffeine dependency" would be a more descriptive term. However, under the widely accepted definition "chronic pattern of behavior that is perceived to be difficult to quit," caffeine may be said to be addictive.) Furthermore, because caffeine increases the production of stomach acid, high usage over time can lead to peptic ulcers and other diseases. However, since both "regular" and decaffeinated coffees have also been shown to stimulate the gastric mucosa and increase stomach acid secretion, caffeine is probably not the only component of coffee responsible.

Long-term overuse of caffeine can elicit a number of psychiatric disturbances. Two such disorders recognized are caffeine-induced sleep disorder and caffeine-induced anxiety disorder. In the case of caffeine-induced sleep disorder, an individual regularly ingests high doses of caffeine sufficient to induce a significant disturbance in his or her sleep, sufficiently severe to warrant clinical attention. In some individuals, the large amounts of caffeine can induce anxiety severe enough to necessitate clinical attention. This caffeine-induced anxiety disorder can take many forms, from generalized anxiety, to panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive symptoms, or even phobic symptoms. Because this condition can mimic organic mental disorders, such as panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, or even schizophrenia, a number of medical professionals believe caffeine-intoxicated people are routinely misdiagnosed and unnecessarily medicated when the treatment for caffeine-induced psychosis would simply be to withhold further caffeine. A Study in the British Journal of Addiction concluded that caffeinism, although infrequently diagnosed, may afflict as many as one person in ten of the population.

Several large studies have shown that caffeine intake is associated with a reduced risk of developing Parkinson's disease in men, but studies in women have been inconclusive.

- scriptor (thanks to Wikipedia)

Tom Waits - Jersey Girl (1980)

2007-01-05T01:49:00.001+02:00

Acrostic Alice

2006-12-11T21:42:00.001+02:00

Who am I? A normal guy. An 18yr old unsure about his future. I enjoy simple pleasures - reading novels, listening to the blues, watching westerns. Academically, nothing special. Emotionally, female. Bad sleeping patterns, spontaneous and extravagant shopping sprees. Monogamous. Spiritually growing, but prone to comfort zones out of which I must be shocked with a gentle cattle-prod. I like to stay busy, helping people, making friends, working towards a future. Looking always for originality and creativity. Learning, and not (just) the school variety. In other people, I appreciate honesty; openness without emotional prostitution; a big laugh; positivity; craziness; faithfulness; faith; a large heart; a healthy awareness of social attitudes without surrender to conformity for the sake of popularity or an easy life; beauty; a focus not on themselves.

I realise this is a completely self-oriented blog, and I won't pretend that it's anything else. I wanted to see if I could put myself on a piece of paper. I didn't fit. So I wrote this instead. Please forgive me the introspection, and also the hypocrisy of my subject when compared with the last line of the above...

- scriptor

PostScript: I found some quotations from Douglas Adams which proved a source of some amusement to myself, and I felt that I should do the honourable thing and share them with you.

"It is a mistake to think that you can solve any major problem just with potatoes"

"It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'as pretty as an airport' appear"

"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way as bricks don't"

"Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of"

Montague/Capulet (and little Portugese boy)

2006-11-16T20:23:00.000+02:00

The Unseen

2006-11-03T16:15:00.000+02:00

There was once a man who became shipwrecked alone on a desert island. He struggled to stay alive, and his only hope was a small cabin which he had constructed from branches and palm leaves. One day, he returned from a fruitless food hunt to find that somehow his hut had caught fire. He groaned and cried out to the sky "Where are you God? Why would you let such a thing happen to me?". That night he slept cold and scared beneath a tree. In the morning he was woken up by his rescuers. "But how did you find me?" he asked. "We saw your smoke signals", they replied.

- scriptor

William, It Was Really Nothing

2006-10-18T11:12:00.000+02:00

"Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said 'Never will I leave thee, nor forsake thee', so we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I shall not fear what men shall do unto me" - Hebrew 13v5,6.

I don't think much of happiness. I used to, but I believe now that there's much more to be said for joy, and for contentment. My experience is that happiness is a very good feeling, but it only lasts for a while, like the battery on a mobile. You can never have happiness 100% of the time, I would suggest. With experience, you can possibly learn to jumpstart it, by forcing yourself to be positive and energetic. This reflects from those who are around you, and then it is often easier for you, in turn, to bounce off their vibes.

Joy, on the other hand, is constant. In my experience as a Christian, at least. When I've been far from God, joy levels have been somewhat depleted after a while, as if you're not quite whole. A creature is meant to have a relationship, a bond, with his or her creator. You can see this in the familial relationships of both humans and animals. Joy is security in the knowledge that you have God with you, that He loves you, that He has a plan for you. It is deep-seated.

You can be joyful, and not happy.

However, I have found, that if joy is given, it is much easier to find happiness. Being overall a more content and satisified person, you immediately exude this like an aura. You find pleasure in everything - paintings, friends, books, jelly beans.

"For all the gods of the people are idols, but the Lord made the heavens. Splendour and majesty are before Him, strength and joy are in His place" - 1 Chronicles 16:26;27

- scriptor

Ha!

2006-10-11T14:52:00.001+02:00

I am worth $2,499,150 on HumanForSale.com

Macbeth (or So, You're a Cannibal)

2006-10-10T00:38:00.000+02:00

Today I have left my job. This is a good thing, or at least for the moment, that is. Until I run out of money and need another job.

By the way, if you should run across the Booker Prize winning The Sea by Mister John Banville, I would advise that you buy it only for less than £7. It is a small gem (of middling to large value), but if you want not to waste your time, you could fare worse than Black House by Stephen King and Peter Straub.

Go and see World Trade Center if you want to, but if you actually like the art of film-making, or have the smallest respect for originality, I would suggest that shredding your fore-finger in a cheese-grater might be a more enjoyable experience. A sad tribute, perhaps.

End to opinionation.

Worst ever chat-up - "If you were a booger, I'd pick you first"

- scriptor

Marilyn Monroe

2006-10-04T16:25:00.000+02:00

Silent (The Mayor's Brother)

2006-09-29T01:31:00.000+02:00

When I think of anger, it seem to me to bear more semblance to a tsunami than a fist. A fist is stoppable, quite easily. Even if it's somebody's nose or car. But a tsunami will rollercoast through just about anything - same with a typhoon or rampaging elephant. I don't know about you, but that's how I feel when I get angry, like a booster of confidence because I don't give the world's largest monkey about anything other than what I'm angry about. So enough with the fist.

- scriptor

What Katie Said

2006-09-22T00:01:00.000+02:00

Writer's block would be easy. But what does a writer do when he's 2000 words into a short story and realises he doesn't know what story he's writing? To add to the frustration, imagine that he's written his best characters yet, a passable atmosphere and rolling dialogue...

Someone give me plot...!!!!

Films
Brick 7/10
Junebug 7/10
Black Dahlia 6/10
Talladega Nights 5/10

Books
Stephen King's Dark Half 7/10
Stephen King's Dead Zone 8/10

Music
Tom Waits' Frank's Wild Years 8/10
DJ Shadow's The Outsider 6/10
The Matches' Decomposer 6/10

Old Skin

2006-08-27T13:56:00.000+02:00

If you have the inclination to listen to some good contemporary Christian music, please head over to www.purevolume.com/francisblight. I became acquainted with this man at Reading Festival last year, and since then he has released a six-track available through Cross Rhythms records. The approach is old hymns (Wesley, Lowry, etc.) set to new tunes.

Much obliged.

The Dark Half

2006-08-20T01:32:00.000+02:00

As you might have noticed, Constant Reader (might being the operative word), the posts on Empathies keep being deleted. Well, the previous two posts to this, anyhow. This is due to a sort of literal apathy I felt was present in them - the first being a short trailer for a Global Warming Awareness film presented by Al Gore (fascinating, educational, but not original), and the second a three-book review. Knowing how annoying and sometimes inane it can be to read these opinionated and rarely witty summaries with comment, I have saved you the dubious pleasure of not reading them. You can be satisfied with the conclusion that of the three, Alias Grace by Margaret Atwood is worth purchasing, if you (like me) are taken to reading.

Alas, however. After adventuring around Europe (i.e. France and Portugal), my tales are so numerous that they clog in the channels of my brain like brightly coloured cars in a 13-mile traffic jam. Owing to this mental constipation (not the only kind which I've suffered this summer, you'll be sad to hear. Or perhaps amused or disgusted, depending upon the sensitivity of your disposition and the level of your humour). To cut long tales short:

I, along with one of my dear brothers (I'll just call him 'Jon', to avoid controversy) was stranded once at sea, necessitating swimming in the dark. Not easy to charm parents in a sodden state at 11.30pm.
Stranded twice more, once atop castle ruins (in the dark again), and once in a fog which reminded me of bad computer graphics. Me and 'Jon' met a funny Russian in the fog though. He thought we were going to murder him, and he spoke like Dom Joly. Heh heh.
Insulted my newly acquired sister-in-law one too many times. Enough said.
Became enamoured (not hammered) with Breton cider. We may have a bottle left, if anybody would like to visit.
Became enamoured with the amber beer of South-East Algarve. None left.
Descended into a car-park in the centre of a 40-degree Seville, now remembered fondly as the 'depths of hell'.
Was a victim of palm-reading gypsies.
Toured and climbed the largest cathedral in the world.
Mooned Hannah's father.

There was more along the way, but either too rude to mention here, or lost in the haze of fun (not 'drug') addled excitement.

Soon, you will perhaps be treated to a short story.

Truly yours,

Scriptor

Affliction

2006-06-21T15:14:00.000+02:00

Beunos Aires, mein wunderkinder. Owing to the last of the A2s, various weddings, anniversaries and over-indulgent exploits to Brest (which is a town in the Northwest of France, by the way) and a villa with a swimming pool in the Algarve, I'm sadly going to be worked to death over the next couple of months, and so, to the disappointment of all of you millions of readers, Empathies is going to undergo a brief(ish) respite. However, the archive holds around 43 posts, so to counteract your sorrowful despair, you can wade in the clear warm tropical waters of my previous prose.

Or not. Your call.

If anyone has any holiday reading suggestions, they would be gladly received. At the moment, it's looking like Laurie Lee's autobiographical trilogy and Faust are going to have to be painfully spread out over two weeks in France. However, there will be many other distractions.. as I've already planned, heh heh heh. Actually, if the town named after a mammary gland isn't too many miles away from our seaside five-bedroom stone cottage with walk-in showers and three floors, I might succumb to a midnight town-sign-stealing adventure. After all, who wouldn't want a sign saying 'Brest' on their bedroom door? Okay, probably quite a lot of people. But for those easily amused, the prospect is priceless. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

The main thing though, and we must remember to always keep a focus on the main thing, for danger of losing our way through this hazard-filled journey we call Life, is that this section of France is famous for it's cider.

Oh happy day.

And at 3 euros a bottle, it's a West Country paradise. And after a couple of bottles, it doesn't even taste all that bad. I know that true poets are supposed to sup (or guzzle) absinthe, but I believe it's stil illegal in le France, so that'll have to wait 'til the Scandinavian adventure.

Anyway, I must cut off my reminiscent reveries, for the sun is setting, and way still needs to be wended through the treacherous Eastern woods back to my cabin. It's a bit of a pain to have to tackle the wolves and gremlins in half-light.

And so, to leave you with a racist quote from the master of irony...

"America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up"

- Oscar Wilde

Hikikomori

2006-06-07T13:30:00.000+02:00

Hikikomori are a Japanese social phenomenon. The term refers to both the 'disorder', and the people who suffer from it. They are usually adolescents, or young adults, who withdraw from society and family in an extreme fashion, locking themselves in their rooms for periods of over 6 months, many known to carry on for 20 to 30 years. Obviously, by this time they wouldn't still be young adults. Doctors don't believe it to be a disease, but rather a social phenomenon, triggered by events in the lives of the affected. Pressures from schools and inability to express thoughts to family are thought to be primary factors, as well as broken romance.

One boy in Tokyo at 17 sits in his kitchen, silent and refusing to let anyone in. This has been the case for the past three years, when he was unhappy at school and begin to play truant. One day he walked into the kitchen, shut the door, and has been in there since. The family has since built a new kitchen, at first having to eat takeaways or cook off a makeshift stove. His mother Yoshiko takes meals to his door 3 times a day. The bathroom is adjacent to the kitchen, though he only bathes once in 6 months. Photos of the boy prior to his withdrawal show him as plump and cheerful. He was then taunted by a classmate who wrote hate letters and scrawled abusive graffiti about him in the schoolyard.

Western doctors are puzzled, for this seems to be a distinctly Japanese or Eastern condition, dissimilar to agoraphobia, which does occur in the West. Where the typical western father might kick down the bedroom/kitchen door and sort out the child, in Japan this is treated as a 'phase'. Social workers and courts rarely get involved, and it is considered as a problem within the family, not a psychological illness.

Japanese history, folklore and poetry celebrate the nobility of solitude, and until the mid 19th century, Japan had cut itself off from the world for 200 years.

Mothers and sons have an incredibly symbiotic relationship, often looking after their children until they are 30 or 40 years old.

Sufferers are most often male, specifically the eldest son.

There are over a million who suffer from the phenomenon in Japan...

Shocking Surprises

2006-05-26T00:04:00.000+02:00

You scored as Anarchism.

Anarchism

100%

Democrat

92%

Communism

83%

Green

67%

Socialist

67%

Republican

33%

Nazi

Fascism

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

I won't say I told you so to certain Parsons, ahem, I mean persons, (whoops!), but no-one can go against the irrefutable evidence of the test... sadly, I am not the Republican everyone thought. I wonder how high some people's fascist percentage might go, though...

Freedom

2006-05-17T23:58:00.001+02:00

"The liberty of man consists solely in this, that he obeys the laws of nature because he has himself recognized them as such, and not because they have been imposed upon him externally by any foreign will whatsoever, human or divine, collective or individual."

- Mikhail Bakunin, Dieu et L'etat, 1882

Anarchism is nowadays a widely misunderstood concept, the meaning of the word 'anarchy' come to imply some sort of dissolute and violent state. The word, as most anarchists use it, does not imply chaos, nihilism or anomie, but rather a harmonious anti-authoritarian society that is based on individual self-determination and personal involvement.

There are close links with Marxism, Leninism, Trotskyism, communism, feminism (unfortunately with the modern bra-burning manhaters as well as the Suffragettes), the labour movement & working class and environmentalism. There are Christian anarchists, and surprisingly, anarcho-capitalists.

Peter Kropotkin, in 1902, argued that mutual aid was a natural feature of animal and human relations. Most anthropologists agree that the State is not a natural phenomenon and that many hunter-gatherer bands were egalitarian and lacked division of labour, accumulated wealth, or decreed law, and had equal access to resources.

"Property is theft" (Proudhon)

If you want an audience - start a fight.

2006-05-12T12:29:00.001+02:00

For any of you unfamiliar with the name Banksy, he is a controversial and covert graffiti artist in the truest sense of the word - anarchic and gifted.

Today I found a quote from him...

Nothing is sacred.

I read a book about the life of Leonardo Da Vinci recently which said that most of the Renaissance masters were secretly homosexual.
It said they recruited brothel workers to model for major paintings and that their biggest patron was the catholic church.

Essentially I learnt that the most revered and sacred art in the history of mankind is poofs painting prostitutes for paedophiles.

And I thought graffiti had a bad reputation.

(www.banksy.co.uk)

Endlessly, She Said

2006-05-04T12:55:00.000+02:00

Two seminal albums soon to be released:

AFI - Decemberunderground - Miss Murder.mp3

(Davey Havok / Jade Puget / Adam Carson / Hunter)

Continuing in the vein of 'Sing the Sorrow' (AFI's previous and sixth LP), rather than the earlier punk (Answer That and Stay Fashionable) and hardcore (Black Sails in the Sunset) centred albums.

The Bouncing Souls - The Gold Record - Gold Song.mp3

(Greg Attonito / The Pete / Bryan 'Papillon' Kienlen / Michael McDermott)

The usual good old-fashioned sing-along punk rock!

The Killing Moon

2006-04-27T00:31:00.000+02:00

So many things have been happening recently, that you would have thought some majestic epiphany would have been considerate enough to strike me, thus arming me with an inspired and highly wise ramble of diction to supply my loyal fanbase with. But alas, Fate, it seems, has deserted me. No doubt for a younger, richer model.

Strange occurrences seem to be rife right now. Other than the usual synaptic flashes, that is. Last night, I went to bed tired, only to read the whole of Jeanette Winterson's Weight, her rendition of the Atlas / Hercules myth (pretty masterful, I must admit, even if she is a feminist.) If you would like to know the story, and it is worth knowing, follow the white rabbit... (which is in fact a snowshoe hare)

There were these dudes, you see, in Greek mythology, called the Titans. They were the gods before the Olympian gods (Zeus, Hera, Aphrodite, Hermes, etc..) usurped them and cast them into Tartarus, a hellish pit. Mr. John Keats wrote a few pleasant verses about one of them - Hyperion. He was the sun god before Apollo took his place, the son of a bitch (follow the Keats link on the Revolving Bookshelf). One of these Titans was called Iapetus. Iapetus, so we are told, gave birth to Atlas, Prometheus, Epimetheus and Menoetius. Having fought the gods in the Olympian vs. Titans war, they weren't going to be let off the hook lightly. To cut long stories short:

Atlas' home, Atlantis (yes, the very same), was destroyed and he was forced by Zeus to carry the weight of the universe, bearing it on his shoulders.

Prometheus fought on the side of the Olympians, strangely enough. However, he was fool enough to steal the secret of fire from them, and give it to men, who subsequently abused the gift. Zeus decreed that he should be staked out on Mount Caucasus, and that an eagle (Ethon) should peck out his liver every day, as it regenerated over night. Nice.

Epimetheus got off quite lightly really. Zeus fashioned for him a wife named Pandora out of clay, quite the babe, apparently. He ignored his brother Prometheus' advice about not accepting gifts from the gods, and married her. She had been given a box by Hermes, which she was instructed to never open (split infinitive, I am fully aware). However, curiosity won over, and she opened it, thus releasing all sorts of plagues, pestilences and moral decline into the human world. That's women I guess.

Menoetius. This homie was rude to the big daddy (Zeus), who proceeded to strike him with a lightning bolt on Mount Triphyle. In some accounts he is simply cast into everlasting torture in Tartarus.

Not the sort of people you'd want round for tea and squashed-fly biscuits. Hope all you guys (the numerous crowd, ahem, who actually read this tripe) are in the middle of pleasant, blessed and spontaneous lives at the moment. Will talk soon, no doubt...

KTF

Readed: Anne Rice - Tale of the Body Thief, Gaston Leroux - Phantom of the Opera

Listening: From First to Last - Dear Diary, My Teen Angst Has A Body Count; Johnny Cash; NOFX - Wolves in Wolves Clothing

The Lowest Form

2006-04-21T00:47:00.000+02:00

Fresh Video from BlogTelevision.net (Source)

Failing that, try this link:

http://www.blogtelevision.net/p/Videos-Watch-a-Video___1,2,,10566.html

So Long Sweet Summer

2006-04-06T23:39:00.000+02:00

Same Ship, Different Dane

Put the poison pill to your mouth,
And we will swallow all that we can,
Until the fading lines of sentiment
Are all that keep us from blacking out completely.

Read my head
And let's step outside
Scare up from the grave
Those revenants
No-one could ever save.

Solemn walk
Let's take it up in the holidays,
With all those lazy days,
All those surface glitter days
Where we can do nothing at all
But think of someone else...

But to the head?
Ever thinking Simon finds it hard to decipher
The key written on the cave mouth,
Though the door is only a dragon's breath away.
The fridge hidden, but the jewels safely out in the open.
So we decide to stay,
And guide the fast ship towards the plains.
Ever needed more token?
No, but it goes fast enough.
For a child on a zebra crossing, in any case.
Waves go round,
Capsizing,
But holding onto the anchor
In the vain hope that this is the one thing that will remain afloat
In a sea of fools.

However the bedding in the belly of the storm
Was sub-standard.
We rode away
until another week.

(c) 06

Recommending: Nickel Creek - Doubting Thomas ;
Seth Lakeman - The Storm;
The Shins - A Call to Apathy.

Duet on Iberville Street

2006-04-02T23:35:00.000+02:00

The man in black leather
Buying a rat to feed his python
Does not dwell on particulars.
Any rat will do.
While walking back from the pet store
I see a man in a hotel garage
Carving a swan in a block of ice
With a chain saw

- Stan Rice (Fear Itself, 1997)

The Higher of Two Evils

2006-03-30T23:51:00.000+02:00

The wanderlust grows like a moss
On
the bark of this forming soul,
But alone is where I'm at,
And alone is
but the whole
Of this unforgiving sin,
This wretched undertaking,
Which always lets me in,
But steels the bars I'm breaking
To find.

Moments (kisses, bonds of empathy), last for their namesake,
Temporarily relieving the desolation of my landscape,
But not to these
will I cling,
Nor to anything
Manmade, infected with hypocrisy,
Mortality and infidelity.

Bracing on
Is the manner of my
journey;
'cause every time I die,
seems like I can't be touched.
A
fireside story.

(c) 06

Summer Squatter Go Home

2006-03-21T13:05:00.000+02:00

Check out www.anti-flag.com to hear "1 Trillion Dollars", an acoustic aural delight from their new LP For Blood and Empire.

Peace
www.downingstreetmemo.com (information on an illegal war)

Nigella Damascena

2006-03-17T11:58:00.000+02:00

Yesterday night I was able to tick off one of the many check-boxes on my "Things to do Before Murdered" list. That is, I was honoured to participate in a mouse catch along with the father of my sweetheart (meus amatrix). He was a cheeky beggar (the mouse, not Han's dad), and fleet of foot, and hence it took around 52 minutes to chase him out from under the piano and into John's hands, at which point he decided to sample the meaty flesh of the aforesaid, much to my amusement and John's surprise (and slight pain). At one point earlier than this, I managed to catch his tail with the edge of a Compact Disc case as it carelessly roped out from underneath the upright instrument. Upon firmly grasping its tail with fingers and removing the case, however, the blighter inconsiderately left an inch of it in our fingertips, and, chuckling merrily to himself at his own cleverness, darted back with the remainders of his body, ready for the next round.
In the end, he got the freedom which we so committedly were trying to give him, as he leapt out through the french windows... straight into the paws of Darcy, the household cat.
Lol, only kidding.
KTF

Don't Click Here

2006-03-16T13:05:00.000+02:00

THE ROSE. (William Cowper)

The rose had been wash’d, just wash’d in a shower,
Which Mary to Anna convey’d,
The plentiful moisture encumber’d the flower,
And weigh’d down its beautiful head.

The cup was all fill’d, and the leaves were all wet,
And it seem’d, to a fanciful view,
To weep for the buds it had left, with regret,
On the flourishing bush where it grew.

I hastily seized it, unfit as it was
For a nosegay, so dripping and drown’d,
And swinging it rudely, too rudely, alas!
I snapp’d it, it fell to the ground.

And such, I exclaim’d, is the pitiless part
Some act by the delicate mind,
Regardless of wringing and breaking a heart
Already to sorrow resign’d.

This elegant rose, had I shaken it less,
Might have bloom’d with its owner a while;
And the tear, that is wiped with a little address,
May be follow’d perhaps by a smile.

Nightlights

2006-03-15T17:36:00.000+02:00

I have started a dream journal, which may be viewed at www.cicada-song.blogspot.com, if anyone so desires. Link also on the east of the page.
Jehovah Nisi ::: the Lord is our Banner

Yura Viruchai!

2006-03-13T00:48:00.000+02:00

A few appraisals...
Cidade de Deus / City of God (Film) - This 2hr piece of fine Brazilian art and social comment would be one of the most barbarically shocking and visceral portrayals of life in the Rio de Janeiro slum known as the 'city of God', if it was not for the oversaturation of fantasy violence which has desensitised our generation. Subtitled, somatic and cathartic. It tells the story of a boy known as 'Rocket' as he grows up amongst the drug-dealing, rape, poverty and wanton murder of the barrio. His ambition is to become a photographer, which will be his only window of opportunity out of this hellish, claustrophobic and strangely beautiful place. 8/10.
Margave of the Marshes (John Peel & Sheila Ravenscroft) (Book) - The semi-autobiography of the late legendary disc jockey John Peel, written by himself and his wife. (If you're wondering about the names, Ravenscroft was his real name). Fascinating, even for anyone not interested in the music he patronised, I would imagine, as large sections of the book deal with situations/thoughts unrelated to this. Writing styles are witty in a drily amusing fashion. Easily readable. 7/10.
The Thing on the Doorstep (H.P. Lovecraft) (Book) - You can read this in an hour, and download it from here. A short story of supernatural fiction. Deals with the subject of immortality and deeper orders to the universe. 7/10
That's all for now (folks),
KIR

Voi-La Intruder

2006-03-10T01:09:00.000+02:00

A delicious realisation has just dawned on me. Blogging is one of the most egocentric pastimes that one can indulge in. To think - it is all your thoughts, your life, your fugue*. How perfectly narcissistic. This particular blog, along with the superior literary journals linked at the east of your screen, is also rather esoteric, for much of the content means little to those external to a certain circle. But this is only mentioned because the two words (egocentric & esoteric) sound vaguely homogenous.

To carry on in the vein of vainglory...
I have recently lit upon a decision to make a decision concerning the future path of my brief and inconsequential life (that's not reflections of depression, it's simply a fact, disregarding the hope that the Lord will deem His light to shine through this poor vessel to the benefit of unsaved souls). This decision comes in the form of a travel itinerary. The plan (for one must always have a plan with such things) is to save up millions of dollars (about a grand) and flee far away from the land of my serfdom (make a step of independence and probably end up malarial and divested).
So, for the ease of your comprehension, here is a map of the planned route, which I have intricately woven so that you may glimpse into the start of one monumental backpacking journey...
Well now. I realise that this isn't really the right size to enable good sight. However, assuming that most people reading this blog have geography skills that surpass my limitations, you can hopefully picture most of this in your mind's eye.
1. Flight from UK to Cairo, Egypt
2. Stay here for undecided amount of time, seeing pyramids in starlight, getting mugged in Valley of the Kings, graverobbing, etc..
3. Swift move along with cash acquired from selling off 3'000 year old pharoah to shady relic collector. Destination - Israel.
4. Exploring Jerusalem and other sights for a few days.
5. Moving through Turkey, taking sketches of Istanbul and biblical cities.
6. Turkey to Greece. Visit the Acropolis in Athens, smash plates in restaurants, have long and excited conversations about the afterlife with fat Greek mustachioed man.
7. Greece to Italia. Take punting canalboat through Venice, try and push man in the water. Write lovesongs in sonnet form to the most beautiful girl in the world. Perhaps visit the Abruzzo region. Buy lots of red wine. Visit Florence. Take time to work on memoirs.
8. Italy to Paris, France. Take in the Louvre, be disappointed with the Mona Lisa, marvel at the Venus De Milo. Noctambulate in old Paris.
9. Home.
Aha. Now I know what I'm doing.
The time is 00:09, and this man is burned out. Lassitudinous.
Keep the Faith
* a disturbed state of consciousness in which the one affected seems to perform acts in full awareness but upon recovery cannot recollect them. Webtionary

Nephenthes

2006-03-08T00:11:00.000+02:00

This past Sunday, I and the many other members of my church had the pleasure of hearing The Word preached by Mr. Mike Mellor. It was a real blessing, refreshment and invigoration to hear him, more so for some other people I know - one of my friends was converted, praise the Lord!! As much as I got from both sermons, one particular anecdote stuck with me and has been troubling my soul for the past two days, as I'm sure it will continue to do.
He told the story of one time that he preached, presumably in the open air. There was an old man sitting on a bench throughout, and upon the close of the gospel, he went to sit beside this man and ask him what he thought about the content of the aforesaid. Sadly this man, who had seen and served in both World Wars, responded "I've survived for 86 years with God, I can do the rest without him". On the brink of eternity. That brings it home.
It's made me think about all the old people in my life, and how they're headed for a stretch far longer than the three-score-years-and-ten they've managed - with Providence - to eke out. The devil - through apathy, procrastination and lack of conviction - veils our eyes from these things. Not that we don't know them, but we are tempted by Satan to walk around in a semi-slumbering state all too often.
It would though, be a mistake to care only for the elderly in their unsaved position, for any one of us can be snatched away by the Lord at any time. This makes it all the more important to radiate the gospel of forgiveness and salvation in our lives, and to use every opportunity to be verbal vessels through which our Father's message can flow.
Judgement is real and no-one will be able to side-track it.
"...it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment"
- Hebrews 9v27
"You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet.

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."
- Matthew 5v13-16
Ultimately nothing matters but that God has us, and we have God.
KTF

Psycho Banditos

2006-03-01T14:36:00.000+02:00

The weather has been veering between the extremes of unhindered sunshine and bitter snowstorm blizzards in the past two days (is that a fortday?). I think the times are past when foreigners could rightly claim that the British skies are no source of weatherly interest.
Being bitterly cold, now is a good time to be sitting in front of my father's laptop, listening to "Riot in Paradise" by Mad Sin, a Christian rock outfit. The last part's a joke. Psychobilly is indeed a niche genre. The band are self-described as "Johnny Cash on speed, next to the Clash on amphetamine, without losing the psycho punkabilly focus". Just what more could you want?
Simple pleasures. Add in a steaming mug of Colombian's finest (coffee, not cocaine), Nag Champa incense imported from some remote village in the south of India (or so they claim - was probably processed in some factory in Clapham) and some innate and sudden urge to be on the Superman: The Escape coaster in Texas, and life is full.
Some thoughts unfit to be transcribed to random essay form, due to lack of will:
- There have been an awful lot of articles on singleness in the Evangelicals Now recently...
- I should build a greenhouse for the sole purpose of cultivating obscene amounts of snowdrops...
- Why did Christopher Marlowe name his demon Mephistopheles?
Speaking of the devil, here's a brief synopsis of "Dr. Faustus" - it's dark, but mayhap has its uses - as a literary form of the hellfire-and-brimstone preacher. The play by Mr. Marlowe concerns a certain man, namedly Doctor Faustus. His scholarly achievements fail to sate his appetite for knowledge (reminiscent of the Ecclesiastical epigram "everything is meaningless"), and so yearns to learn dark magic, aka necromancy. This unhealthy desire leads him to attempt a conjuring, at which he is successful, and, just like that, Mephistopheles appears. After a little banter, Faustus thinks that it will be a good idea for him to sell his soul for 24 years to Lucifer (naturally..), and, delighted by the prospect of the powers that will be at his beck and call (origin - beckon call?), does so. He gains powers of summoning (spirits and a wife), which he uses to play various tricks and pranks upon members of the aristocracy. For example, he conjurs the spirit of Alexander the Great for Charles V and procures out of season grapes for a pregnant empress. Eventually, this childish and perilous game is the end of him. Whilst he is discussing with a group of students the question "Who is the most beautiful woman in the world?", they agree upon Helen of Troy, that famed bane of the male sex. The Old Man enters, and pleads with the Doctor to renounce his sinful ways, giving him a final chance for redemption. He seals his fate as he locks lips with Helen's spirit, and Mephistopheles abruptly appears and drags him off... (Incidentally, this story brings to mind the title of a short story by M.R. James, entitled 'A Warning to the Curious').
"For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream"
- Jeremiah 29v8

Lilac Wine

2006-02-27T18:35:00.000+02:00

People should listen to "I Know It's Over" by the Smiths. It's a very good song. Some words of description - mellow, heartbreaking, reflective, empathic. There's also a nice live version of it by Jeff Buckley on the album Mystery White Boy (thanks bro), as a medley with Cohen's Hallelujah.
Blogging thoughts all disapparated in a haze of fatigue and pensivity...
"What a pretty tale you told me / Once upon a time" - R. B.

Quacktors and Bureaucrats

2006-02-26T14:29:00.000+02:00

What do people in power mean by freedom of speech? Especially politicians. Two recent events cause this to be one of my foremost mental preoccupations concerning culture in the past two days. The first being the suspension of Ken Livingstone from the mayorhood of London village, the second the imprisonment of neo-fascist David Irving, the self-professed 'historian', for denying the reality of the Holocaust.
Only one of these truly makes me laugh at the hypocrisy of our nation's leaders.
The incident which amazes me more is the mayor's detention. It's laughable that what he said (if you are not familiar with this - he told a Jewish reporter that he seemed more like a concentration camp guard ), while extremely foolish, should be taken so seriously that he's taken away from his work for a month.
Take for an example the affairs of John Major, David Blunkett, Robin Cook, Derry Irvine, and many other political figures whose actions have not cost them any significant loss of power, and not entailed any form of punishment other than their indiscretions being paraded in the media. And yet a man who, provoked, makes an insensitive remark receives a law-enforced reprimand.
Political Correctness is the new god of the aristocracy.
"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places"
- Ephesians 6v12

From Autumn to Ashes

2006-02-23T13:50:00.000+02:00

Films
Four Brothers - 6/10. A moving picture about four brothers, who return to the ghetto in which they were raised by a loving lady who adopted them, they having been rejected by the rest of society. They return to bury her, after she is killed in a liquor-store incident, and end up seeking to avenge her death... Mark Wahlberg is the only actor I recall.
House of Wax - 3/10. If you appreciate run-of-the-mill, dumb-and-attractive-teens-got-lost-in-the-backwoods 'horror' flicks, this is the one for you. Also, if you want to see something which has no originality, acting skills (Paris Hilton is a main character... need I say more?), or surprises, this will be your temporary heaven. The only saving grace to this masterpiece of brainlessness is that for 10 minutes of the playing time, we spend time with a redneck. Now that's always hilarious.
Rocking to:
Distillers - Sing Sing Death House
Johnny Truant - Seven Days at Knife Point
J.S. Bach - Toccata and Fugue in D minor
Faith

Never Kill the Boy on the First Date

2006-02-22T14:23:00.000+02:00

So, last night myself and my good brother Matt went to the Corporation in Sheffield. Here we saw, joy of joys, Waterdown:

This is the big fat guy who is one of the singers, although now he has a beard and looks like a German version of Santa Claus, but younger and screaming for a rock 'n' roll band. Sweet. They're the best thing to come from Germany since... umm... something good came from Germany. A nice bunch of guys.
But, even better, they were the support act, the main ear-bashers being good old homegrown Johnny Truant, delighting our senses with such classics as "I am the Primotologist, Mr. Robert Sapolsky", "The Bloodening" and my personal favourite, "I Love You Even Though You're a Zombie Now". Had a little chat with Olly, who was manning the merch stall after he came off stage, respect to him. A very pleasant man.
Here's Johnny (not in 'The Shining' sense):
And here's Olly:
Definitely £7 well spent. Also, Bring Out Your Dead (sweet vocals, and really quite good for a Brummy band with a female bassist) and Ella (morons) were livening us up for the aforementioned geniuses of musicianship.
Faith
Tom

Faded Beauty Queens

2006-02-21T00:42:00.000+02:00

Something that's been in my thoughts recently is the way that people can (perhaps frequently) fall in love with an idea. And I don't mean that in the sense of an advertiser falling in love with a concept for a campaign, or a Boston kid falling in love with the idea of one day playing for the Red Sox. I mean real life, amorous, arrow-through-the-heart lovestruck.
It's been my misfortune to spectate at close quarters on one particularly disastrous instance of this. It's tragically amazing really. Before I proceed, let me make myself clear. I'm talking about a woman falling for a charming man who seems chivalrous, funny, faithful and dreamlike, when in reality he's a cowardly sleazebag. But only after too long a period of time does this fact hit home, usually quite suddenly and forcefully. This is the point where the illusion shatters, and her preconception of this man dies. The sad truth is that he was never the man that she saw.
It makes the saying "love is blind" understandable.
I guess the moral of the story is look before you leap, to utilise a second catchprase in two sentences.
"Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah."
- Psalm 4v4

Pandora

2006-02-07T14:16:00.000+02:00

The amount of things which change in a month! People say that life is short, and we compare it to withering grass, a metaphor which has never seemed more true, and yet the inverse is equally true. It doesn't seem like a month since New Year, since I started this web journal. But this, my sixteenth post, is written on the one month anniversary of blog conception. And no smart comments on how much of a life I mustn't have, please. I know already.
It's strange how time can move so slowly and yet so quickly.
Reason might suggest that it is the formulation of ideals and personality struggles which are not unknown in the years of adolescence, which renders the status quo. Not convinced though. Adults, as well as hip and trendy teens such as I, have the same issue with time, or so I am led to believe. The answer then, is not to continually blame stages of life, or the circumstances thereof; and also not to stand and wonder at the fickleness of time. This is a fact, and will remain so until, like the grass, your corporeal existence has withered away. The answer is to accept this as it is, and to get on with life, striving to do our best in each individual task set before us. Of course, as Christians, we have a higher aim, and to worship and glorify our Creator Redeemer should be our primary pursuit.
Peace

The Ballad of Michael Valentine

2006-02-07T00:59:00.000+02:00

A book which I have recently had the pleasure of reading is The Vampire Lestat. This is the second book in the Vampire Chronicles series by Anne Rice, following on where Interview with a Vampire left off. The style is similar, but the scope much larger. We pass the limits of Louis' experiences which is all we have to go on in the inceptual novel, and this time focus on Lestat, an older and more knowledgeable creature. He relates to us his tale from the time he was 'made', through the vampire's realisation of the loneliness of his immortality, and his discovery of his roots. This takes us back to ancient Rome, the Druids of Celtic Europe, and the dark mysteries of BC Egypt, where the original two vampires were created. An epic of it's kind, and challenging to anybody who has preconceptions about the 'humanity' of these noctambulant immortals.

Lelio Rising

2006-01-30T01:34:00.000+02:00

Something that grates... the way that people can sometimes feel they cannot be introverted, because society tells them that it is normal and good to be outgoing and extrovert. They are stigmatised as having something wrong with them, often simply because they appreciate the qualities of solitude and introspection. This is not wrong.

T
"A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
- Proverbs 29v11

Johnny Marr!

La Salle

2006-01-24T00:46:00.000+02:00

Thoughts from a tired and rambling mind..
Has anybody ever read a book, and so completely identified with the main character that you wonder if the author could read your mind, even if they're centuries dead? I know that most books contain a character whom one can empathise with in at least one aspect - but how about an entire situation, a whole character?
If we are Christians, we should be seeking to identify with Jesus as much as is humanly possible. But that's just it - we might be able to empathise with his humanity and suffering, for he endured every kind of temptation and pain that it would be hard for us to find one which he could not identify with us in. But we could never empathise with his entire divinity. One of the humanly inconceivable truths of Christ - his complete humanity simultaneous with his complete supernature.
Look Ahead,
Peace

Porphyria's Lover

2006-01-23T00:48:00.000+02:00

"If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning."
- C.S. Lewis
Mega update pending...
KTF

Don Corleone

2006-01-20T18:13:00.000+02:00

Greetings upon this twilit afternoon in merry January. A north-westerly wind blows through the neighbours' pine-trees as I type this solitary web sonnet, sitting comfortably in a black wooden fold-up with a thick-set oaken pipe...
That's mostly all rubbish actually.
Film Review - Jarhead (Ang Lee). It's good. See it.
Film Review - It's All Gone Pete Tong. Amusing, but crude. If you've never seen a Coke Badger, you will be enlightened by this film.
1 John 5v1-5

Now Flameless Embers

2006-01-19T14:43:00.000+02:00

I realise that what I am doing here is a prime example of 'blog-for-blog's sake', not a dissimilar idea to that of 'art-for-art's sake'. Because, it is only through love of writing, literature, Scripture and a lack of something to do that this weblog lives on. I mean, it's hardly as if anything vaguely meaningful or helpful has been brought to light through any of these literary vagaries. Enlightening perhaps.
That's aside though. The main reason for today's entry is to elaborate upon yesterday's blog, which included the writings of Henry David Thoreau, a man close to my heart and similar in sympathies. I realised, with a sudden shock not unlike one experienced upon the first step into an ice-cold paddling pool, that I wasn't entirely clear myself upon the meaning of the word 'transcendentalism', familiar as I am with it's followers and philosophies. And so, to enlighten myself as much as anyone else, here is a heavily inspired and attemptedly brief definition of the term...
Transcendentalism - An Exegesis
First to clear up a common misconception - this philosophy has nothing to do with the removal of teeth or the replacement of fillings.
American transcendentalism was an important movement in the worlds of philosophy and literature, flourishing in the years of the early to mid 19th century (1836-1860, specifically). It started as a reform movement in the Unitarian church, extending the views of William Ellery Channing on an indwelling God and the significance of intuitive thought. It was based on "a monism holding to the unity of the world and God, and the immanence of God in the world" (Oxford Companion to American Literature). It's adherents believe that the human soul is identical to the world's soul, and contains what the world contains.
Transcendentalists rejected Lockean empiricism, unlike the Unitarians: they wanted to rejuvenate the mystical aspects of New England Calvinism (although none of its dogma) and to go back to Jonathan Edwards' "divine and supernatural light," imparted immediately to the soul by the spirit of God.
Here's Lawrence Buell:
"Transcendentalism, in fact, really began as a religious movement, an attempt to substitute a Romanticized version of the mystical ideal that humankind is capable of direct experience of the holy for the Unitarian rationalist view that the truths of religion are arrived at by a process of empirical study and by rational inference from historical and natural evidence"
Webliography - Link here
KTF
Reading - Tess of the d'Urbervilles (Hardy)
Relaxing to - '93 Til Infinity (Souls of Mischief), Cypress Hill

The Case for Hermits

2006-01-19T01:45:00.000+02:00

Rippo

Three loveliest things -
moonlight, cherry-bloom, and now
I seek silent snow.

In my extensive research on hermits, I have come across many interesting facts concerning these elusive gentlemen and women - found in the origins of the ninth tarot card (no disclaimer inserted here, just don't mess around with tarot decks. Or ouija boards), the lives of 19th century poets and Taoism.
One traditional view of the hermit is as the formal ecclesiastic and reclusive forest wizard - found in the likes of such literary gems as Mort d'Arthur by Thomas Malory. It is interesting to note that such beings are often not the dour, people-despising, slightly unhinged that one might immediately conjur to mind upon hearing the word 'hermit'. In literature they are often depicted as self-sacrificial and compassionate, who have chosen the solitary path to further themselves spiritually. Which, ironically, could better enable these particular individuals to serve their fellow man, than if they inhabited the deepest recesses of human colonisation. Such a figure is found in the pages of the aforementioned Mort - in the episode in which Lancelot is wounded by the boar he slays. Upon the mysterious forest-dweller inquiring as to his need for medical assistance, he refuses (actually, he does more than this, he threatens the man), and the hermit leaves, incidentally bumping into another group of wayfaring knights. He requests their help in his mission, and they accept. Taking Lancelot to the recluse's hermitage, his wound is healed, but due to a fever and the consciousness of his sins, Lancelot cannot be healed spiritually (a little theological errancy here). Only the Sangreal - the Holy Grail - can help him. Staying with him overnight, Lancelot recognises the man's kindness and presuming a unique wisdom, asks him for advice concerning a dream. The insightful hermit reveals that Galahad is Lancelot's son.
More recent eremetical characters include Emily Dickinson, the poet and feminist; and Henry David Thoreau, the transcendentalist philosopher.

"You think that I am impoverishing myself by withdrawing from men, but in my solitude I have woven for myself a silken web or chrysalis, and, nymph-like, shall ere long burst forth a more perfect creature, fitted for a higher society." - H.D.T.

Sweet Afton

2006-01-18T16:59:00.000+02:00

A brief update, to bring your good attentions to a couple of well-worth-a-visit websites. The first being www.nickelcreek.com. This is the website of the band, who are Christians and play Appalachian folk music. Sweet. They're talented and beautiful. The second is for the more politically-minded of you - http://auto_sol.tao.ca/ - Autonomy and Solidarity.com. They are self-described as on-line network for anti-capitalists who believe that revolutionary transformation will come from workers and oppressed people self-organizing from below and not from the top down organizing of any state, party or union bureaucracy. Definitely worth a look.

Both of these will hopefully appear on the Links section shortly!

Meanwhile, keep it real, and don't let any sort of bugs bite, but if you do, it might as well be the bedbugs, because they're a lot less harmful than a lot of others, thinking particularly of such nasty specimens as the libernum leaf beetle, which will strip your libernum leaves in no time. No joke.

KTF

Postscript: Glad you're enjoying the blogtastic world of Tom, Maggie. Am striving to become prolifically superior to mugglenet, which hopefully should be short work. Take care!

Cellar Door

2006-01-17T19:16:00.000+02:00

So I was sitting here, at my father's laptop (because the two house computers which we've managed to accumulate second-hand are both screwed up, not an unknown condition for Cox PCs), drinking Mango Indica and listening to Cypress Hill. Reading through random blogs about people's lives on the net, I realised how little I have written about anything I've ever done. Ever. So here goes...
Erm.. OK maybe I've never really done much. But what has come to me is the best beginning to an autobiography I've ever read:
"Shall we begin like David Copperfield? I am born, I grow up. Or shall we begin when I was born to darkness, as I call it. That's really where we should start, don't you think? "
Which is from that revered work of literature, Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice).
So here's what went on at Christmas and the birth of the NY, minus a lot of important events and by-the-bys...
~~~
The return of the family. This is always nice, really. To anybody who thinks their brothers and sisters just get the hell on their nerves, wait 'til they move out. So we spent some time chilling, exchanging the traditional presents (some very nice Misfits and Mescaleros CDs, cookbooks, toaster tongs and and espresso machine amongst them), having a festive laugh, winding up various girlfriends (not all mine, I hasten to add - I'm not Asian, Brad Pitt or a nerk) and just generally having a crazy, coffee-and-port-loaded time.
It was very pleasant also to see some good friends again, who have proceeded their adventure in life to university or other such institutions of conformist brainwashing . Ha ha, only messing. It did deem rather expensive seeing a couple of these dear people however, as they insisted on me buying every round of coffee in Costa. Ah well. When you're me, the only way you can get friends is to spend money. My dearest darling girl bought me the Family Guy film to celebrate the birth of our Saviour, which I have watched upon two occasions. Mirth. Dan was here to be a chauffeur, which is not a bad calling in life for someone like him, although he does talk quite a lot.
Overall, it was a memorable and peaceable Yuletide, which is a major and infrequent event in this depressing world. But not to sound old. My fingers, head and eyes are all fairly fatigued, so I won't say "thankyou for my food, please may I get down", but I will say goodnight, and keep your New Year's resolutions.
Love more.
KTF
Tom

Noctambulism

2006-01-17T13:41:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I found out an intriguing fact. Amazing, in fact. Maybe a lot of people reading this (although there's not a lot of people reading this) are already aware of the central message of the Bible, but hey. Check this out:
Shortest chapter in the Bible - Psalm 117
Longest chapter in the Bible - Psalm 119
Central chapter in the Bible - Psalm 118
There are 594 chapters prior to Psalm 118, 594 succeeding Psalm 118. Add up these two numbers, and you get 1188.
The central verse in the Bible - Psalm 118v8
"It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man"
Damn right.
KTF

5

2006-01-13T15:02:00.000+02:00

Five Ways to Help You Pass Safely through a Dark Wood Late at Night
1. Whistle a tune your father whistled when you were a child
2. Cross the first two fingers of your left hand
3. If you lose sight of the moon hold it in the mind's eye
4. Imagine the colours that surround you waiting for the first kiss of morning
5. Keep a Kalashnikov in the glove compartment.
- Roger McGough

Blighted Stars

2006-01-10T14:14:00.001+02:00

Here follows a brief exposition on a paragraph of Hardy's Tess, being a subject which for once has some actual relevance to today's title.
It is the episode in which Tess and her younger brother Abraham are driving the bee-hive filled cart to it's place of delivery, at 1.30am, their father lacking the sobriety to perform this task himself (Obviously, the drink-and-drive campaigns were as prominent then as now). Her brother puts forward a question about stars, asking if they are all different worlds. She answers affirmative, and that some are blighted places, others joyful. She says that their star is a blighted one, proved by the fact of her mother's immaturity and her father's inclination to drunkenness. Subsequently, she falls asleep at the reins and their cart collides with that of the postman, his cart's axle spearing their horse Prince through the breast. She wakes Abraham, who has slept through the entire incident, who profoundly states that this has occurred because they dwell on a blighted star.
A thought struck me as I was reading this; the obviousness to people everywhere, of all religions and shades, that our world is fallen, and in desperate need of redemption.
"He entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption"
- Hebrews 9:12

Wizard and Glass

2006-01-09T18:17:00.002+02:00

Ten minutes. How can I write anything vaguely digressive in such a pithy amount of time? I'd just like to straighten out the link on your right for 'Bookcrossing' - try going to www.bookcrossing.com, the blasted link seems not to have worked - which is surprising, because computers always do what you want them to. Especially when you've wasted about 40 mins of your life on them. Hope everybody's doing well back at uni - thinking of you all with exams &c.
KTF
"Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat." - John Lehman

The Savoy Declaration

2006-01-08T13:09:00.000+02:00

"Then I said, "Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth". But the Lord said to me, "Do not say 'I am only a youth'; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord". "
- Jeremiah 1:6-8 (ESV)
Sunday greetings. This is a verse that I've been meditating on a lot recently. It's content, I find, is encouraging in two ways for young people. Firstly, there's the fact that Jeremiah was himself obviously a youth, and yet the Lord chose him to become a prophet to the nation of Israel! So much for adults running everything. Secondly, the words themselves. I don't know about you, but so often, especially in a church situation, you can feel a little dispensible and shunted aside, as if your presence makes no difference whatsoever to church life. I'm sure this isn't just an issue if you are a youth, but it probably makes it more of an issue. But here, God is saying, outright, that it doesn't matter about your age, because if He has chosen you to be of service in some way, He will be with you. Just as much as with an experienced pastor or elder. He knows what He's doing when he chooses a disciple for a job.
Okay, that's really one point and not two, but my writing on here is more stream-of-consciousness than anything else. So excuse me if any confusion occurs.
Well, happy days and peaceful nights for a while, until the blogmeister returns.
KTF
Tom
Reading - The Penelopiad (Margaret Atwood)
Partying to - Crimson (Alkaline Trio)

Spendthrift?

2006-01-07T18:36:00.002+02:00

Blueberries. Pot. Tumbleweed. A few words of welcome into the New Year! Hope everybody has had a crazy Yuletide and NY, and a happy one to you if I have been rude enough not to talk to you. In search of something to do on this dark snowy afternoon in early January, I stumbled upon an epiphany. Why not create a weblog, Tom? I thought to myself. Everybody else is doing it. Which, I hasten to add, is not usually a very good reason to do something. Especially if it involves being drunk AND parked on the edge of a cliff, or needle drugs. So, I wended my merry way to a blogspot creating company (which I'm not going to plug any more, because their name is already on the page, at least once), and ta-da!.. here is Tom's blogspot - Caulfield Empathies.
Ever read the novel Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger? It's so wonderful I read it in two days. Not while I was supposed to be studying. Anyway, the protagonist in this gem of a book is Holden Caulfield, who's a bit random and likes to horse around. Stuck for an original name for my blogspot, this name lit upon me like a fly on a pile of three-day old horse manure. Not that I smell bad or anything, it just wasn't a great idea. To be honest, it sounds like the sort of name an emo band would adopt, but don't tell them, because they might start crying.
Harsh.
So, enjoy ranting rambles through the hedgerows of a probably demented sociopath (would I know if i was insane?..), and remember that sometimes, just sometimes, 3 is a magic number.
God bless,
Tom